ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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