Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
