playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
