Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
