you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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