Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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