He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
