I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize