Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
