fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize