they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize