Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
