I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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