so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
