I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
did i just pee glitter
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