Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
