I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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