Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize