Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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