I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Panties = found
Randomize
