I queefed so loud it echoed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
