I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
