I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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