It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
