I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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