So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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