I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
