My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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