I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
