after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
