Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
