hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
ugly people sure do ruin things
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
