You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
