According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
wow bdsm is so cute
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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