you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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