Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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