i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
