I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
