Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
