Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
