I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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