Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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