You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
