can u get pink eye on your cock?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
