I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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