I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
