he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
vagina is talking i cant
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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