If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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