we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
