Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
