I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
