Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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