Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
