Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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