the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
