Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
