So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
