I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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