I'm lost and stupid without you.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
