Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
