I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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