fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
third nipple confirmed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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